A picture is worth a thousand words...

(to say the least...)

I hope that this doesn't come out as a "poor me" story, because it's not.  I realize plenty of people go through trials like this everyday, and this is my way of not only moving on from this phase of my life, but moving on in my blog-Christmas is coming-hello?! Plus, I haven't even got to Thanksgiving and it's DECEMBER!!  :) I feel that even though it's a "crappy" post, it's still a post-it's my post, and it is what has been going on this last month

Where in the heck do I even start?! (big sigh...) Well, Brent and I found out we were pregnant at the end of September.  We were ever so much overjoyed!  However, the first doctor's appointment was much less than joyous.  At 10 weeks he couldn't find a heartbeat and the embryo had not been growing for the last 3 weeks.   I then had the option of waiting for it to pass or have surgery.  Of course, I opted for the first option, since the surgery option didn't sound cheap.

Two weeks went by before I decided it was time to get this thing over with.  I intended  to call the Dr. that day after work to schedule the surgery, but nature took a different course.  Brent was working that morning and as it went on things started to turn worse for me so I called him home.  He took the best care of me, but I kept passing out, throwing up, and had lost a lot of blood.  He tried getting me ready to take to the hospital but I got to a point where I couldn't even respond to him.

The paramedics came and picked me up (which thinking back on it, I don't know how I stayed so calm!)  They strapped me up to a board with a neck brace (taped my head to the board and all) and jetted me off to the nearest hospital.

When I got there they took a CT scan to make sure I hadn't injured my back from falling and scheduled me for an emergency D&C (which I know now does NOT stand for Doctrine and Covenants; at least when you're at the hospital!).  After the surgery I was told that I had lost over half my blood but was doing fine.  My blood count was really low, low enough to get a blood transfusion, but in my case, they said it wasn't worth the risk-which made me feel WAY better... Luckily, I only had to stay until morning, which was good- I wanted to be out of there as soon as possible.  The only time I ever went to the hospital when I was younger was to see the newborn babies... which was fun.  But this time, not only did I get a first class ambulance ride (lights and siren included), but I got the bare butt robe,  red jell-o and a bed that moved.  Not to mention a LOT of needles, IVs, and pricks and jabs...NOT my idea of fun.

Since then, things have gotten better health-wise, but emotionally we are both healing, which we understand takes time, but it's not easy (I really wish it was.... ) The mentality that Brent and I have always had is:  everything happens for a reason; and how you respond to everything determines the amount of growth and maturity you gain or lose from it.   We see this as a chance to spent a little bit more time alone together  so we can be fully ready when we try again.

I feel very fortunate to be married to the man I call my husband. He is my SUPERMAN!! I couldn't ask for anyone better to love and take care of me.  He is truly the best, and I owe him so much for everything he's done for me in the last four years.   I have (the best!!!) supportive family (in the weerld!!) that will drive across the state at the drop of a dime to come be with me and clean my house (Thanks mom!).   Also, great friends and church members that are so loving and caring to extend their concern and bring food to my house! :)

 Good thing another year's coming up.... I am ready to start fresh!